The ‘Finest’ of Them All – Candidly Kristen #17

Candidly Kristen 2019

Candidly, I struggled to blog last month. I took a short break from Instagram and I’m still riding the post-grad struggle of ‘what’s next’ in my blog and beyond.
I returned to Instagram with this post and wanted to share it with you all. I also announced something exciting: the re-brand of my Etsy store!

Candidly Kristen March 2019 - @kristenshane_ on Instagram
@kristenshane_ on Instagram

Candidly, the month of March was especially difficult, mentally and emotionally.

Being enrolled in school for the last twenty years, this was my first time working while it felt like everyone else was on spring break.
I didn’t have a break between college graduation, LSAT studying, and starting my job, and all the major changes finally caught up with me this month.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to share in this month’s candid reflections, but my biggest takeaways from this month were this:

Everything comes in waves. Good and bad.

Every phase and emotion are temporary. I accepted that this month was a major trough in the waves of life. But it’s all temporary. No low lasts forever. No high does, either.
We’ve been conditioned to keep emotions to ourselves and answer ‘good’ or ‘fine’ when asked how we are. This month, I was anything but ‘fine’. It’s okay to not be fine. It’s okay to be less than ‘okay’. Happiness isn’t a final destination.
My anthem this month has been this song by Lauren Alaina. The song is about her parents break up, but the message behind the song rings true:

Thanks for asking how I’ve been
I’ve gotten too good at hiding it within
I’m okay, things are great but the truth is
Yeah the truth is

I’m doing fine enough to know that everyone’s a little broken
Fine enough to learn that hearts are best when they’re wide open
I still got fear inside of me
I’m not okay but I’m gonna be alright
For the first time in a long time I’m doing fine

My last reflection from this month is that we are all living our own story. We can share it or hide it, but no one else will truly be able to live it. When you’re struggling, you can’t expect everyone to know how you’re feeling (especially if you don’t tell them). When your friends are struggling, you can’t know how they’re feeling. At least not exactly.
If your friends or family are struggling, going through something, or just having a bad day, you don’t have to fix their problems. Honestly, you probably can’t fix their problems, no matter how badly you want to (although you can help). You don’t have to compete for ‘who feels worse’. Why do our struggles have to become a competition? We all have feelings. We all go through things.

RELATED: How to Deal with an Overbooked Schedule & an Overwhelmed Mind

If you don’t know how to help comfort or heal someone, sometimes the best thing you can do is let them know you are simply there for them. Let them know you care for them. Let them know they matter.

You don’t have to heal, you just have to love.

Even your strongest, most outgoing friends have real problems and feelings. Even your quietest or most independent friends need comfort.
I hope to create a dedicated post soon on being a better friend to loved ones dealing with grief or mental illness. I hope this post helped you be a better friend to someone. Everyone needs to know they are loved.

Be love today.

RECENT POSTS:

Candidly Kristen #16 – January & February 2019
Candidly Kristen #15 – Year in Review 
Vlog: How I Film YouTube Videos

With love, Kristen Shane

 

 

college faith & lifestyle blogger | pursuing grace, honesty, & ice cream

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