Kristen Reads: Why Her? by Nicki Koziarz Book Review

This is my first official week of summer vacation, and I’ve already read two books from start to finish, so you could say things are going well. I’ve always been a bookworm, but I’ve just started dedicating myself to reading as much as I can. Since I was little, I’ve preferring to curl up with a good book over watching TV. I do watch more Netflix now, but I think that’s more from laziness of not finding books to read 🙂

Like I talked about in my first book review post, I’ve recently become a B&H blogger! Which basically means I am sent books to read and honestly review. I recently picked out Why Her? 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind by Nicki Koziarz. I’d never read anything from Nicki (I guess it’s proper to refer to authors by their last names? but Nicki’s writing style demands a personal reference, like I try to create in my own writing, which I love!) before, but after finishing Why Her?, I immediately looked up her blog to read more from her and add her other books to my wish list!

Self-help and inspirational books like these have become my favorites recently, as they always leave me feeling so motivated and inspired, both for life (and the topic at hand) and for my own writing journey!

Enough chatting from me, let’s get into the good stuff :).


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Like the full book title says, Why Her? unpacks six truths about comparison that all women fall into in today’s day and age. Throughout the book, she unpacks these six lessons, with lots of little mini-lessons within each section, which I also loved. Nicki roots her message and stories to the Biblical story of Leah and Rachel, which is done beautifully throughout the book. I’m not as proficient in Biblical stories as I’d like to be, so I enjoyed learning this story, in addition to the many sweet-and-honest personal stories Nicki shares.

Nicki’s personal anecdotes are so real and relatable and really made me feel like I became friends with her through reading this book. She talks about the many struggles, both in life and comparison, she’s faced, from raising her daughters to becoming a professional writer and speaker.

As Christian women, we all battle with comparison, especially in this social-media-focused world. I fall prey to this negative comparison all the time, and I’ve written about it before, as well. Nicki writes about how she’s learned to take control back over this comparison, instead of letting it control her, and practical tips for how we can approach these “why her and not me?” moments with grace, instead of anger, frustration, and jealousy.

There are so many gold-nuggets of inspiration and light-bulb-moments in this book! I kept my journal close by for jotting down scripture references and big-idea quotes from each chapter.

Her stories really spoke to my own perfectionist heart, and I so needed to hear (and hear again and again) how we truly must trust in God’s plan for our lives. His plan is so much more amazing that what we think we want (especially when what we’re wanting is someone else’s “perfect” life).


“A confident trust in God’s promises will give us perspective to see that if others win, it does not cause us to lose.”  (quote from Why Her?)


I won’t spoil all the goodness from this book, because if you relate to anything I’ve mentioned, I highly recommend reading this one for yourself (you can buy it here if you’d like!). The idea of “her gain is not my loss” is such an important one from this book, and Nicki even includes a prayer we can pray for those women we find ourselves stuck in the negative comparison trap over.

Like I said, I received this book courtesy of B&H, but I wasn’t paid to write this review. I just really loved it! I am not one to love every single book I read, but this one was too lovely not to share. I highly recommend getting yourself a copy, or at least checking out Nicki’s blog.


I also just finished reading the Magnolia Story by Chip & Joanna Gaines, and the combination of these books written by these self-starter authors reminds me again and again of the call I feel to find my place in this writing world.

I hope you enjoyed this review! What’s a book you’ve read recently? I’d love to add it to my list 🙂




I'm Kristen, a small business owner living in the sunny state of Florida. I blog about running my Etsy shop (Lemon and Lily Co.), small business tips, & lifestyle content. I'm all about community over competition & finding the joy in every day.


  1. Adele
    May 8, 2018

    I always enjoy reading your posts. And “Why Me” has been added to my list.
    I just finished “One Beautiful Dream” by Jennifer Fulwiler and I think her story will speak to you, because it’s about figuring out God’s plan for you, wherever you find yourself. (She’s also a self-starter author). I look forward to buying your books one day!

    1. kristenshaneblog
      May 9, 2018

      Thanks for owing along! I’ll definitely add that book to my list 🙂


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